she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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