How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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