I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
