Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
