I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
