so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
