so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
