my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
