No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
