3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
