Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
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