"it" just moved
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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