Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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