he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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