Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
