He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
