Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
