she was so not down for the gang bang
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
