I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
