My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
