The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
there is glitter all over my balls
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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