Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
