I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
