so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize