do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
