Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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