I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My feet surprised me
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
