I think my vagina is haunted
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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