i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
