Swine flu. Run for my life!
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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