Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
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