The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
