Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
ugly people sure do ruin things
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
