God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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