You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
