so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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