Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
