Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
