i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Randomize
