I accidentally had phone sex last night
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
send nudes
from the living room?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
