so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Fuck appropriateness.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
