I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
