Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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