if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
