well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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