I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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