I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
they need to just BURY HIM!
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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