She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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