I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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