I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Randomize
