I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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