that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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