Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
