Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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