Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
