soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You had me at "let me see your balls"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
