It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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