do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
