If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
