You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
