I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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